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"It has always been my dream to get married..." said Diego Carachure with a faraway smile the week before his wedding. You might think these were the words of a starry-eyed twentysomething, rather than those of a 69-year-old grandfather.

Having been diagnosed with terminal cancer, it was during a hospital stay that Diego met Mario Cepeda, a spiritual counselor in the Hospice program of Visiting Nurse & Hospice Care. Hospice is a special way of caring for someone who is in the last phase of life. "In Hospice we not only help people prepare for the last phase, we also help them celebrate life," said Cepeda.

As part of the Hospice program a nurse, a social worker and a spiritual counselor each visit the patient at different times to offer support. "If possible, I help the patient to reflect on his or her life. As part of this process, something important may surface that the patient has always wanted to do, but has not been able to do," Cepeda explained.

For Diego, it was his dream of marrying Anita, his wife of 47 years, in the Catholic Church. But to reach that happy moment Diego had to face a labyrinth of obstacles.

Diego’s story

As a young man Diego was engaged to be married to a woman from his village, Acuchitlán, in the state of Guerrero, Mexico. To save money for married life Diego enrolled in a work program to harvest crops in the United States. First he went to the lettuce harvest in Camp Verde, Arizona, then to the lemon groves of Santa Paula, and so on, leaving and coming back to his village several times over a period of four years. But when he returned from his last trip he was crushed to learn that his fiancée had been seeing another man, and the wedding was cancelled.

Not long afterwards, Diego met Anita Figueroa, whom he had been acquainted with when she was a young girl. He noticed that Anita had grown to become a kind and beautiful woman, and he fell in love with her. He began to court her and she accepted his proposal of marriage.

It was the custom to be married first by the State and then by the church, and that is what Diego and Anita planned to do. They had their civil ceremony, and their church wedding was to take place a week later. "Everything at home was ready for the reception. All the guests were in the church," Diego explained. "But when we got up to the altar the priest refused to marry us. We begged him. We had already paid him, and we offered to pay him even more money, but he wouldn't do it."

Later Diego realized that the priest's refusal was related to the fact that he was the uncle of Diego’s first fiancée. Diego’s faith was profoundly shaken. "We were so ashamed. I felt so let down that I stopped believing in priests," Diego recalled.

After the frustration of the wedding, Diego went back to work. Soon a son was added to the family, and another. With the arrival of their third son, Diego was obliged to find work outside the village to support his family. He worked for years in Acapulco, then Mexico City. After many years he returned to the United States to work. “I dedicated myself to providing for my children,” said Diego. “For many years all my resources went towards that.”

In 1982 Diego filled out the paperwork to bring Anita and their family – which by now included 6 sons -- to join him in the United States. In 1986 the family was reunited in California.

Of his spiritual life, Diego related: "When we went to mass everyone would get up to take communion, but not us – we felt that we couldn't [because of not being married in the church.] ... But I always thought, 'Some day I'm going to get married.'"

In Santa Barbara Diego once again sought to be married in the Catholic Church. "We went a few times to see the priest at Our Lady of Guadalupe. He said that we could get married, but we needed something. Maybe it was a paper... I don't remember what it was. But we didn't have it and we stopped pushing to make the wedding happen."

While in the hospital Diego met Father Ludo DeClerq of Holy Cross Church. "I was very sick when Father Ludo came to visit me. I told him that I wanted to be married in the Church, and he said that, yes, we could make that happen. But between managing my symptoms and the chemotherapy we lost track of him."

When Diego was admitted into the VNHC Hospice program, Mario Cepeda went to visit him. "Diego and Anita told me they had met Father Ludo, but had lost touch with him. I immediately realized that the wedding was something very significant for them, and that they didn’t have much time. So I did everything I could to make the wedding happen as soon as possible," said Cepeda.

Cepeda called Father Ludo to arrange the details of the wedding and he also let the nurses at VNHC know about the couple's needs. One of the nurses provided a suit for Diego, others donated money, and the VNHC Loan Closet provided a cane. The VNHC Foundation provided funding for catering for the reception. The Carachure family and their friends made the other wedding preparations, such as getting the wedding dress, preparing their front yard for the reception, and arranging for a musical group.

The week before the wedding, Diego said, "I feel good. Like something beautiful is going to happen in my life – even if it’s the last day that I’ll be able to really enjoy that happiness – because at last my dream that I have always wished for will become a reality. I want to be able to belong to my God body and soul."

To Cepeda, Diego said, "God will pay you back for everything you’re doing for me, because I could never truly repay you."

Diego's dream finally became reality when he and Anita presented themselves at the altar of Holy Cross Church, in a ceremony presided over by Father Ludo. Most of their children and grandchildren were in attendance, as well as other family members and friends and VNHC staff. During the wedding, due to Diego’s weakened state, he and Anita were seated in chairs.

After the ceremony, as Father Ludo presented them to the congregation as man and wife, Anita was resplendent, her eyes full of emotion. Diego leaned on his cane and wore a solemn expression. Then Diego and Anita kissed and tenderly embraced, surrounded by their grandchildren, who were like beautiful spring flowers.

At the reception, Diego continued to lean on his cane, but then he left it behind to be supported and embraced by his beautiful bride as they danced. Then the couple danced with their guests. In exchange for a dance, guests pinned bills to Diego’s suit and Anita's shawl – singles, fives, tens, twenties, even a hundred dollar bill.

Later that evening Diego and Anita both took a moment to express their heartfelt gratitude to everyone in attendance, as well as all those who had helped make the wedding happen. They specially thanked Visiting Nurse & Hospice Care for their attentive and caring support. As the sun set, Diego and Anita sat peacefully side by side, watching their guests dance and enjoy themselves. The long awaited blessing of their union had come at last.